the modifier that doesn't make sence "We are competing for the same city states"

Ok So I've been playing civ 5 for a long time but I only recently discovered something wich is a little bit wierd..

A lot of leaders like : catherine , elizabeth , The Siam king, harun of arabia, china ..
Sometimes get a little bit anoyed when you are getting influence at a city state they like? Usally They allready get mad at you if you are friendly with the city state or higher ( you are not ally ).


So I was scounting and I randomly found a natural wonder and got some influence with a city state because they wanted me to found a natural wonder.
However suddenly china was becomming angry because i've had influence with them? Kinda wierd that the AI knows this its like they can see what you are doing just like they know that you are unhappy


Here is the wierd thing how does china know I have influence with them there is no way to see as a human player to see how much influence a AI has in a city state this only shows up if you are allies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats up with this Shouldn't the AI only get mad if you steal their city state because you are competing for beeing ally?
A city state can have mutliple friends but only 1 ALLY So the only competition is for beeing allies


Why do I get a negatif modifier for beeing friends? I clearly am not in competition with the favor of the city state becuase everyone can become friends